Abusive behaviour patterns

The need to control your environment to protect a fragile identity is typical of abusive behaviour patterns, they are often not about the victim at all. In fact many abusers can’t even see their victims, they can only see what they project onto them. They seek out evidence to reinforce delusions, it doesn’t matter if its real when the aim is to protect a delusion. What we are seeing with this toxicity on twitter is what happens when you affirm delusion, give it legitimacy. Red is blue and everything that was red is blue and was never red, the need to silence women, abuse women, prevent them organising, ‘win’ some battle in a chatroom. The problem with this type of delusion is that it is fighting itself, it is fighting reality and the best thing any sane person can do is stand back, get out of its theatre and let it demonstrate. This is not easy when delusion has been given legitimacy by law and a political party.

The public, like myself, support trans rights because we are human beings and we cannot imagine the pain and distress of dysphoria where you truly believe your inner identity does not match your body or society’s expectations of it and you need to change your body in grievous and painful and complex ways. We can see that scorn and humiliation that trans people used to face and no sane, rational, decent person would ever want to make that more difficult. The problem with the delusion that has taken hold at present is that that reality is too painful. Which again I can understand for some people, and I sympathise. But sympathy is as far as it goes.

To demand someone say something that is not true because it is a reality that is too painful to acknowledge is not something that can be reasonably expected of an adult. When one adult tries to force another to say things that are not true, uses coercion, threats, fear to enforce it, that is a dangerous situation. That is a dangerous person trying to get another adult to subordinate their reality to a delusion. Its a very powerful demand. What is currently being asked by a small twitter culture, not really representative of the trans population I hope, is that the entire female sex is subordinated to deny their own biology, to not discuss their own history, not discuss complex and broad systems which deal with violence, abuse, which women have a responsibility under law to understand, to manage a delusion. Except its not being asked. It’s being demanded, and what is also being demanded is that women give up the right to freedom of assembly, self determination, and their identity. This is not an outrageous demand, this is not an unreasonable demand, this is the demand of someone in the grip of a very dangerous delusion.

I have never been quite as controversial as I was painted, largely my understanding of abuse, violence, is rooted in statutory responsibilities that are the centre position. Agreed through evolution of the rule of law and esystems over a long time. That political media cultures are not aware of my perspective and are surprised by it is largely just because that’s how things work, we have people trained to know this stuff. People trained to know this stuff also know when power is being exercised to demand women deny their very biology, and to accept this level of control, it is a concern and risk is being demonstrated.

I do know there is a wall to this, I do know that reality bites eventually, but in the meantime it is becoming apparent that a very serious strand of delusion has been validated. A strand of delusion that cannot be debated and is trying to subordinate women. The mantra trans women are women, which cannot be challenged is this. Trans women are trans women and this is valid. The painful reality being hidden by this delusion that trans women are women, were always women is male biology. And in the demad that women subordinate to protect the holder of this false belief, we see the subordination that has always defined the difference in genders. The difference is now have seventy years of systems, laws, recognising that it is no longer lawful to coerce and subordinate women in this way. So the question is why has this been validated? I take twitter with a pinch of salt, I think it distills narcissism and makes what used to be political communication toxic, but I see this strand of disorder that has been validated and I am very worried baout how this ends. Who will get hurt.

None of the things I said will go away. My description of abusive behaviour that should cause very serious red flags did not come from twitter, it came from these systems. Nothing I am saying can be changed by the power of an inner identity and there is no inner identity that has the power to make what I am saying untrue. But when truth is a threat to a fragile identity, the person with that dysfunction has no choice but to try and erase it, they have to protect their identity at all costs. Someone is going to get hurt. The outcome of this wont change, it’s just recognition of why same sex protections are necessary and that the tangible difference between sexes always offending rates and sexual violence and these traits. The question is the crisis in the meantime. What event will it be that causes the reconstruction in people’s understanding of power? Who is going to get hurt so we can all feign shock and say we didn’t see it coming?

I have always tried to take twitter with a pinch of salt, this blog is often my reflections on what I see there and the way it is impacting politics and policy in the environent I can see. This is dangerous. I have never been so worried by something on twitter as I am about this. Not beacuse I fear loss of women’s rights but I fear the crisis that causes reflection on that will include a woman’s body. We have validated serious delusion. There is no debating with it, there is nothing to debate. But watching this play out is terrifying.

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