skint and angry

The following is not verbatim but it is based on real conversations I have had with Work Programme Advisors.

WP: Hello, it’s really nice to meet you. We’re really looking forward to getting you into sustainable work.

Me: That’s great. What happens now?

WP: You go off and look for work.

Me: And what do you do?

WP: We wait for you to find work.

Me: Eh … OK.

WP: Did you look for work?

Me: Yes.

WP: Did you find anything?

Me: I’ve got an interview.

WP: Brilliant! We’re so happy for you.

WP: How did the interview go?

Me: It went well. But I need a Disclosure which I can’t afford to pay for.

WP: Can’t is a negative. We don’t do negatives.

Me: We don’t do negatives is a negative.

WP: H’mmm we might have to think about how we can make your attitude more…

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