I think when I got asked to submit pieces to the Guardian, people got the wrong idea. I was stumbling across the anti-cuts movement, as personified by twitter, I didn’t realise it was the left wing media entry ground planning how to get the most from austerity. I thought I was looking for change, and found a media entry ground hungry for real hardship to leverage their political media  careers off.

I know  a shiny Guardian badge should have been enough to make me feel I was making change. What I found out while I wrote for the Guardian, is that the housing crisis the whole country is in the middle of, and which is at the root of many of our economic problems, can only be discussed in ‘cuts get personal’. That as well as offering poverty porn, Cif is actually the entry ground for the Labour media guppies, and they define the culture. So the novelty povs the Guardian pays £85 to, automatically get thrown to discussion boards shaped by a culture where their only role is to be demonised or patroniosed,  and face abuse that no rational person could understand, because that is the culture that is created. YOU are expected to defend yourself as deserving and be grateful for the opportunity. Participation with ‘readers’ a prerequisite for payment, but you can ask if you need support on the boards, so your consent is received for gladatorial fun.,

If you manage that you will find you are in close proximity to those who need you to be invisible. And you meet some of the other victims of this political culture. And as the narrative never moves on, the price you pay will get bigger until you do.  This overwhelmingly white upper class, social network run organisation, has barely any connection with the world outside their walls, all their connections within that professional social network, so have no reason to consider this. Unaware that the centre position they hide, is the key to understanding our current crisis, rendering themselves unable to offer a venue to discuss solutions.

There is no place in the Guardian to point out that punishing women with poverty because of their relationship status is  a clearly nonsensical and depraved solution to a banking crisis. Alongside the poverty porn will be press releases explaining it was chosen. The reason the services you looked to the Society pull out to read about, have been destroyed at such a huge social cost, is because The Guardian sell the political narrative that demands it and keeps that Society content well away from contextualising political editorial. In a silo, untouched. We live in media democracy and those speaking for us are indifferent to basic reality. Their journalists only required to repeat press releases, spin and wire copy. The reason teenagers are falling off the radar to be exploited. is because our political press said it should be so… My mother would have been so proud of those bylines, and yet I know they are me writing for the paper who ensured her life was poverty.

Editors cannot grasp why two Labour party members discussing the extent to which women should be disenfranchised, is not political debate. That the Guardian thought it was, largely why the cost of austerity was so high and how austerity tanked the economy. After a couple of articles are written you learn the extent to which  media superceded democracy, you realise you see you are actually writing for the paper that ensures you are in this position. And your mother before you, and probably your daughter after you. I was the woman, who wrote the pieces that allowed those bearing the brunt to believe they had a chance and someone would speak for them.  Legitimising the £150k a year columnists who feed off the poor on Labours behalf.

Once you have submitted articles to the Guardian, you will find editors comment on your twitter feed and apparently talk to each other, because your receipt of that £85 ensures you are one of theirs and what you say has something to do with them. This does not extend to when editors and other journalists use The Guardian to justify putting your family at risk. Then you are on your own. You will notice how much of Cif is a social network of the elite young, and how many writers are excluded because this social network feel threatened by people noticing they don’t know very much.

A wall of elite youngsters take their path to power without payment to ensure the media retains its ability to protect their privilege and they do not like being reminded how ill qualified they are to comment on anything. So entitled that they demand we feel sorry for them if they are faced with the effect of their limitations on us. This wall of elite youngsters(I met many at Oxford which I think is how I ultimately stumbled across these people- twitter is n offline social network sold as an online one) determined the Guardian is the place for the lefty dreams they had at Oxford and are delighted ‘the poor’ are facing hardship they can read, write and hang a hobby on. You watch as their guppies undermine Occupations by leaking documents to Labour lords, and the same guppies who wouldn’t talk about welfare, having a whirl of fun on enforced free labour and the deaths resulting from the changes they hid.

You notice their articles tell the ‘truth’ through Labour friendly language regardless of Labours position or the consequences. Their view so often tallying with the message Labour sell, to feign difference from the Tories so real policy goes unopposed.

You kind of lose the desire to be liked. Being liked is important in our political media professional culture.

They can’t grasp that you don’t want them to like you, you want them acknowledge the power they stole from voters and you are angry watching people pay for their corruption, ignorance, and indifference and you could not justify taking their money.  They need to feel good about what they do at whatever expense. As one of the 3 or 4 institutions that project this nonsense onto the country to shape political debate, they cannot grasp why you feel THEY are responsible for the wide scale suffering they package, silence, and sell to Labour. Why we don’t believe the hand wringing about austerity which comes a long way further down Guardian priorities, than the political editorial that demands it.

And then it becomes about their feelings….. because we should give a shit.